


The Light Behind Your Eyes

by rxinventlove



Category: My Chemical Romance
Genre: Angst, Car Accidents, Heavy Angst, Hospitals, Minor Violence, i wrote this for school i cant put frerard, its still good i promise, ok so there's no actual ship
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-04
Updated: 2017-12-04
Packaged: 2019-02-10 06:04:37
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,019
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12905685
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rxinventlove/pseuds/rxinventlove
Summary: “If ever the world gets to much Gee, just shut your eyes. Picture your safe place and don’t think too much. The world will sort itself out.”At that time, he couldn’t fathom why that would help, even now he wasn’t quite sure but in his experience Elena was always right, so he didn’t dwell on it too much.





	The Light Behind Your Eyes

**Author's Note:**

> heyo so i wrote this for a school project (hence the fact there's no actual ship) i might write more???? maybe???? knowing me ill forget about this but oops

**May 6 th, 1988**

Gerard Way never liked when his parents fought. Although not for the most obvious reasons.

It wasn’t the fighting that bothered the eleven year old boy; no, it was how the fighting affected his little brother Mikey. The two boys were as close as two people could be and even though Gerard knew he could just close his eyes and ignore it Mikey didn’t posses this ignorance.

The nights when Don and Donna Way fought were the worst for everyone in that house. The worst for Gerard because of Mikey’s distress, the worst for Mikey because even at eight years old he knew the yelling never meant good things, and for Elena because she had to watch her grandsons hide away from their own parents.

Elena Lee was the epitome of a perfect grandmother. One of Gerard’s earliest memories was with her. She had taken him out to the beach the very first time his parents fought—of course this was a Jersey beach, but the cold didn’t matter much to either of them. When Gerard’s little legs couldn’t walk anymore she had pulled him up onto her shoulders and whispered to him:

“If ever the world gets to much Gee, just shut your eyes. Picture your safe place and don’t think too much. The world will sort itself out.”

At that time, he couldn’t fathom why that would help, even now he wasn’t quite sure but in his experience Elena was always right, so he didn’t dwell on it too much.

Having their Grandmother live with them only ever made Gerard and Mikey’s lives easier, especially on nights like this. First Mikey would go to Gerard, if his brother was already asleep (which he never was) he would go back to his room quietly and alone because what kid wants to walk alone at night in an old Victorian home? But one most nights Mikey would pull Gerard out of his bubble and drag him to their grandmother’s room. Tonight was one of those. The stairs creaked under their feet and when they opened Elena’s door it gave way with a squeak. It was always the same: Mikey would crawl into the kind sized bed and Gerard would follow right after. Not a word was spoken those nights and not a word was spoken in the morning.

**~**

**November 21 st, 1993**

November’s in New Jersey were cold. Cold, wet and gloomy. Most days were over cast leaving people sometimes days without seeing the sun. Days like those were Gerard’s least favourite. Everything felt like it was crushing him: school, his parents, Mikey’s newfound apathy, his grandmother’s worsening health, even the sky felt like it was weighing him down. Those were the ones Gerard just wished he could forget. They were the ones where all he could do was close his eyes and pretend he was somewhere else just to make it through the day. Just like Elena had told him.

But that day might have been the worst of the worst. The morning had started out fine. Gerard drank maybe one too many cups of coffee then what was considered healthy and made a beeline for the front door as soon as Mikey was ready to leave. Since he had transitioned to high school that year Gerard didn’t have to worry so much about his brother, although it was highly unlikely he would ever stop fretting over Mikey completely.

It wasn’t until after school that everything went downhill—fast. The two boys came home to a peculiar sight. Their father was sitting on their front porch, chewing one his fingernails. The rest of that afternoon was a blur to Gerard: his father telling him Elena had had a stroke, the ride to the hospital, waiting for news from the doctor, everything. All he could do to make his head stop spinning was close his eyes and pray this was all a dream. It wasn’t a dream though, so Gerard just shut everything out and hoped for the best. Sadly, life never seemed to work in his favour. The doctor had walked up to his parents, in a hushed voice he told them that she was gone. The explanation was lost—something about brain swelling—the hospital walls eerily quiet as the Way’s received the news. Vaguely Gerard recalls his mother crumpling into a ball on the ground and Mikey whispering “no” beside him. Vividly though, he does remember the absolute nothing he felt. The rational part of his brain knew that he was probably going into shock but that part of him was completely offline. So, he did what he always did; he shut his eyes and wished away his pain.

**~**

**February 16 th, 1995**

Gerard didn’t even know what they were yelling about this time; all he knew was that it was about Mikey. Probably about the fact he’d missed curfew two days in a row now or his grades—maybe even both. The longwinded fight came to a close when Mikey stormed out the front door, both Gerard and his parents close behind. So close that Gerard was only a few feet away when a car turned around the corner. The sound would haunt him even longer then the sight; the smash as Mikey and the car collided, the crack of bones breaking, and then he was down. Much like the night his grandmother died the rest was blur. He remembered calling 911 and riding in the ambulance. He remembered the fear. The fear that his brother wouldn’t make it. The fear that he would finally be alone. The fear that now Mikey would leave him too.

He couldn’t shut it out. No matter how long or how hard he closed his eyes he could still hear his mother’s cries and he could still feel his heart drop down to his stomach. That moment was one of many to follow; it would take a few more Gerard to realize that he couldn’t hide forever, and a few more even after that for him to find that maybe Elena was wrong after all.


End file.
